THE REAL SLIM SHADY (Eminem) if it were written by Shakespeare || Lyric Bardcore | Medieval Parody

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“The Real Slim Shady”, with lyrics adapted in parody as if t’were written by William Shakespeare

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WORDS
(Hear ye, hear ye, lend me thine ear
Attend to me and duly lend thine ear.
To the Noble Lord Shakey, pray step forth!
Once more:
To the Noble Lord Shakey, pray step forth!
This complicates...)

Thou seem'st to hath ne'er afore seen a true knight.
Frightened, s'if the Motley Duke had arrived forthright
With bountiful Duchess, or such as his punches attend.
A defenestrating friendship worth dishonorable mention
Lo, again with the pestering "Surely thou jests.
For if I hear true, I must protest!"
What sayeth the Dread Doctor? Nothing, knaves -
The Doctor lieth buried elsewhere in my cave! (ho ho!)
Much admired am I among good women
"Nonny Nonny, Noble Shakey? 'Pox on 'im
Monitor 'im, sauntering, palm 'pon his pin
Pickin' a point to pray provoke."
"Aye, but be he not handsome, ist so."
Aye, mine cantankerous thoughts be most random
But nary as rancorous as thine parents in tandem
Betimes I wish to play unto mine fandom
To be denied whilst Lord Green pricks some northern animal:
"Pucker 'pon my rump, oh sirrah, 'pon my rump!"
Thus with a kiss mine Fortune's bottom's bumped.
And such for our sundered younglings be the script
T'expect a woman's well remain nondescript.
Well though they know how well creation fits,
Befit from earliest teachings, t'would seem.
By my troth, hath they not books?
We hath humanly looks - mind, some are cooks
Of humans quartered, juiced with hooks -
Yet choosing this disorderly decorum is
To be for a forum for men who belong as songbirds
Oh save these sick arris gloriously wrong words
Brave your knickers thus before us:
To the Chorus, Onwards!

I be Lord Shaky, aye the True Lord Shakey
Be there others by the name? Why t'were
Mere impersonating. Thus,
To the Noble Lord Shakey, pray step forth.
Pray step forth. Pray step forth
For I be Lord Shaky, aye the True
Lord Shaky. Be there others by the name?
Why twere mere impersonating. Thus,
To the Noble Lord Shakey, pray step forth.
Pray step forth. Pray step forth

Lord Smith hath not tactless words twixt lyrical acts
True, yet I do, so fie on him, and may he smack ye too
Thinkst thou I would seeketh some tawdry award
When th'offices be assorted, half feeling assaulted?
"But m'Lord, what of victory, wouldst not seem strange?"
What, would thou decieeeve to persuade such arrangements?
To be seated and pray receive the grace f Lady Spears?
Pooh! Ms Aguilera shouldst favour me with a trade
That I may look gaily with the Dukes of Durst and Daly
As they debate loquaciously o'er whom
First to her felatio fell prey
Dare say, the maiden hath brayed 'gainst my name.
"Very merry in face, yet invariably married, shame!"
Methinks her words should be played in refrain
Displayed for every area that she gave Lord Shaky Gonorrhea!
Thou reek'st with thine vain adolescent cabals
Thou seek'st to appal, pon mine egress I'll follow thy call
For ye to die. There be many a Lord Shakey guise -
Speaking merry in tongues, sharing daringmost lives
A prize legion of viable cohesion, aye,
Still ye sigh, thy heart seeming inspired, thou art not I

*chorus*

Mine treasures are a flaying of the mind
Proclaimed for thy pleasure,
Rough truths behooven to be said at thy leisure.
Thus we measure mine inexorable courage
To step forth and flourish, not reduce ourselves to perjury
Impart my quill to parchment and let fly inspired
Despite denial scribing rhymes to th'rate of defilement.
Again, far harder than ye bargain tavern bards
No wonder younger hearts would come to me as to wormwood.
Humbly I leer through a comedy of years
And see at thirty seasons mine person in retirement
Violating matrons, applying ointment with haste and
Trying disappointedly t'achieve twig-n-berries!
Every carrier of the title of Noble Shakey varies
Impious cooks, vicariously, with bilious saliva
While carious drivers fly entire areas crying "fie!" -
Songs afire through their carriages errant side.
Thus, to the True Lord Shakey, pray step forth
Extend thy sole fingers and slay henceforth
Inspired, fervently wild and permanently flawed -
Thus once more unto the finale all: Encore!

*chorus x2*

For each of us, t'would seem, a Noble Shakey
All. Oh s'blood. Thus so, as one we rise.

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