Natalie's Rap 2.0 (Uncensored Version)

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Description

This is a sequel to the Natalie Rap from SNL (2006): https://youtu.be/-A0iftflme4
SNL clean version official post: https://youtu.be/QS8bma7LRX4
We wrote the song, but this was directed/edited by SNL people in NYC. (We shot Andy in LA). Full story here: http://www.vulture.com/2018/02/andy-samberg-on-snl-natalie-portman-rap-sequel.html
LYRICS:
INTERVIEW 1

BECK: We’re here today with film star, Natalie Portman. Now Natalie, the last time you were here things got a little out of control.
NATALIE: Yeah, well I was going through a really weird time then, but I’ve matured a lot.
BECK: Why don’t you fill us in on what it’s like to be you?
NATALIE: Okay, ya bish.
BECK: I’m sorry, what?

VERSE 1

YEAH
PORT-MAN, PORT-MAN, PORT-MAN, PORT-MAN, PORT-MAN, PORT-MAN
FUCKED YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS BEST FRIEND JUST FOR SPORT-MAN
YOU KNOW ITS CLICKBAIT- CLICKBAIT- CLICKBAIT
PUT A DILDO ON A SWITCHBLADE-SWITCHBLADE-SWITCHBLADE
XANIES DISSOLVING IN MY PINOT
MY MAN DANCE BUT HE’S NOT A BALLERINO
YEAH, HE TWINKLE HIS TOES
BUT HE GIVE ME GOOD D THO
WRAP A GOOD BURRITO
TIDE PODS ONLY FUCKING THING I SNACK ON
BLACK OUT AND GO MUTHA FUCKIN BLACK SWAN
MY BRAIN GONE OFF THAT FUCKIN AYAHUASCA, BOY
TELL YOUR TOURIST PARENTS I’MA TURN YOU TO A FOSTER BOY

INTERVIEW 2

BECK: Wow, gotta say, it seems like you’re almost exactly the same but with current references.
NATALIE: Untrue. I’m a mother now. It’s really changed my perspective.
BECK: And do you find it difficult juggling kids and career?
NATALIE: You can juggle these nuts.
BECK: What?

VERSE 2

I DON’T DANCE NOW
I MAKE MOMMY MOVES
WHEN I GAVE BIRTH
I DIDN’T E-VEN PUSH
I WAS BLAZED OUT/ SMOKIN BOMB KUSH
AND WHEN MY WATER BROKE
YOU KNOW IT DROWNED THE DOCTOOOOORRR
THEY SAY I’M SEX POSITIVE/
HELL YEAH I’M POSITIVE/
THAT YOU’RE GOING DOWN WHILE I’M BUMPING “MY PREROGATIVE”
TELL ME WHYYYYY!
HA, I GUESS I’M SHOWIN MY AGE
NOW BEND OVER AND SPREAD EM CUZ YOU ABOUT TO GET FUCKED
KENAN: Damn

INTERVIEW 3

BECK: Fascinating stuff. Now I have to ask, Natalie, have you seen the new Star Wars movies?
NATALIE: No.
BECK: Oh well they’re really good. They’re much better then—
NATALIE: Better than what?
BECK: … Shit--

BRIDGE

SAY SOMETHING BOUT THE MOTHERFUCKING PREQUELS, BITCH(ALEX: They were good)SAY SOMETHING FUCKIN NICE ABOUT JAR JAR BINKS(ALEX: Uh, he’s tall)
NOW KISS HIM RIGHT ON HIS SEVENTEEN DICKS
(ALEX: What?!)
WHILE I SIT DEAD ON YOUR FACE AND TAKE A SHIT!

CARL THE VIKING:

OOH NATALIE
(NATALIE: YEAH?)
PLEASE COME MEET YOUR BABY
HE CRIES HIMSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT
(NATALIE: THAT LITTLE SHIT AIN’T MINE!)

OOH NATALIE
(NATALIE: WHAT??)
ITS BEEN 12 LONG YEARS
(NATALIE: SHUT THE FUCK UP!)
AND I’M 7 DAYS SOBER I SWEAR ON HIS LIFE
(NATALIE: YOU’RE A MESS, CARL)

INTERVIEW 4

BECK: Ok! Well that’s all the time we have. Natalie, one last question: Do you think those “Times Up” pins have had the impact you were hoping for--
NATALIE: How’s that for impact?
BECK: Well, actually--
NATALIE :No more questions.
(END)