Even If - Extended version

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After a miraculous and incredible experience, I wrote this song professing my desire to follow ALL of God's convenant - EVEN IF - He doesn't completely heal me.
You see, I have a terminal illness. I have also suffered some of the worst trauma a person could experience.
I am a survivor of childhood ritual abuse and trafficking, throughout the majority of my life. All the trauma has had devastating effects on my mental and physical health. I believe most of my health issues stem from the negative effects of all these traumas. I developed DID ( dissociative identity disorder), but that was my genius brain doing what it had to do so I could survive some of the most horrific abuses.
My good friend had told me in March 2025, that God had told her to let me know that He wanted me to know He would heal me. All I had to do, was be willing to keep ALL of his covenant. He told me I could test Him, and if I would commit to trying to keep His covenant, He would heal me.
5 months later, in August of 2025, I had experienced an extremely difficult day of triggers and medical procedures that were more traumatic than usual. By the time I got home, it was nearing sunset. I was exhausted. I had to go out to our pasture to talk to my husband. I saw a dark cloud hovering just above me, while the rest of the sky was totally clear and blue. I felt a fine mist falling on me. I told my husband it was beginning to rain. He was further from me, and he didn't believe me because he didn't feel any rain falling down.
The rain started falling harder on me, but not my husband. He could see the rain falling on me, but it wasn't falling on him. I looked up and saw a rainbow, but it was almost directly above me, not to the east. Then I noticed the rain falling harder, but my clothing and skin didn't have any wetness on them. I looked up again, asking God if this was Him, trying to tell me something. I noticed it was now a double rainbow. It was the most spectacular image and feeling I have ever experienced! My husband said there was a bit of a glow that seemed to be radiating over me from the rainbow!
Later, I reflected on this experience, and I felt God was reminding me of His promise to heal me, as I had been keeping His covenants. I wasn't sure if He was going to heal me of my past traumas, my mental struggles, my terminal illness, or some other issues we have been dealing with in our family. I decided that I would exercise my faith, and continue to keep His covenant, EVEN IF He doesn't heal me before I die. I thought of the story of Daniel, when his three friends were being forced to bow to a statue, or they would be thrown in a fiery furnace. They said that they would not bow, and had faith that God will save them from the fier, but, if not, they still would not bow and stay faithful and obedient to God.
This is my EVEN IF - played out in my song.